When you go to a place that offers you the opportunity to be authentic, to speak your truth, to be seen, to be held and to be interconnected; where does that take you?

It is our intention to co-create such a space with you and a group of powerful individuals who are connected through CTI at the first Global Co-Active Summit. As we create this sanctuary together you will be encouraged to recognize and “be” with your individual strengths & talents and to notice how you contribute & connect to the larger community in which we live.

It is through creative exercises that we will transform a conference room into a sacred space. While building a meaningful structure we will explore the mysterious journey from “me” to “we”. The structure representing our journey will later be anchored in a special room that will serve as a refuge for the duration of the summit. In this warm inviting space you will have an opportunity to meditate; really focus on who you are being and to raise your awareness of how you connect with yourself and others.”

Co-leading this transformative evening are Jean, Jill, and Sandra, co-founders of atrio Professional Life Coaches. The evolution of this “trio” of coaches was and continues to be filled with discovery and forward movement from “self-initiating” to “interdependence”. Jean, Jill and Sandra designed a coactive and interdependent business model for themselves (somewhat unconsciously) after their first CTI coaching course.

It all began as a weekly call to support one another in their dreams of becoming co-active coaches. Intuitively they knew they needed each other to make the most of their learning experience and to ensure their success. Today they are thriving business partners who coach, design & lead workshops and who also deliver inspiring talks. As partners, they inspire each other, laugh together often, share ideas, support one another, challenge & stretch one another and they also hold one another accountable to be all that they can be. From this place they are able to more effectively bring their work to the world and to make a huge positive impact – in fact, a far reaching rippling impact.

“We hope you will join us and share in this amazing experience!”

 Did you hear the one about the four Leadership graduates who went looking for the soul of leadership?

It’s a true story: the four of us are graduates of the Wild Boar tribe, and as the retreats of leadership began winding down, we started asking questions about leaders. Hard questions. Questions like: “what makes a great leader: skill or soul?” “Is there a transcendent aspect to leadership? If so, what is it?” “What lies at the heart and soul of leadership…really?” “How do leaders create communities that do great things?”

The conversation began as random acts of inquiry, and grew into a regular once-a-week phone call that’s been taking place for more than 18 months now. The calls are steeped in love and curiosity. We talk about spirituality, religion, leadership, interpersonal relationships, the power of community, world peace, and how these all relate to DeepMiddle®. An interesting fact is that we come from four very different religious upbringings/affiliations: Methodist, Jewish, Taoist, and former Catholic, and we’ve discovered that at a cellular level, we are deeply aligned in our beliefs.

What we seek is the thread that connects deeply into what it means to be fully human, to be fully connected, and to be fully alive….because we also believe that this thread weaves itself into leaders and leadership. We began seeing our discoveries/inquiries as DeepMiddle®, and the potential for all humans: that being able to trust the unknown and the mystery as perfect allows us to relax;  how being willing both to confront and challenge, and hold courage and compassion at the same time in order to arrive at a new experience transforms us as humans;  that being willing to stay in the tension of opposites no matter what happens creates a new space where both the spirit of who I am, and the spirit of who we are, come together in love.

 As we know it, DeepMiddle is a story of the “Ultimate Freakin’ Both…And”

I often hear parents say to their children, “She is lazy”, “he is stubborn”, “she is my difficult one”, “my son is stubborn”, “he is a bully” and the list goes on. In the Parentology model, we call this labeling. The result of labeling is that the child often grows into the label or tries to take on the opposite and goes to an extreme.

Let me give you an example.

I am sure you’ve all met a parent with a tiny little kid clinging to their leg. As you greeted the child, he or she was silent or avoided your eye contact. The parent then said to you, “Oh he is very shy” or “Oh she just does not like men”. And then the little kid buried their head into the back of their parent’s leg and refused to say anything.

Young children may go through a phase when they are a bit intimidated by adults, especially if they don’t know them. It is completely normal for them to take their time warming up to new people.

So when the parents says, “Oh he is very shy”, what do you think will be the result on the child? Even if they are not shy they will become shy. After all, the parent just defined the child as “shy”. As parents we are respected authorities with our children. If we label them they will take it very seriously. Later in life they might continue to be shy – or, they might go to an extreme and be totally wild and seeking attention. Casual comments can have a deep and lasting impact on kids. Think back to your childhood and the words from adults that stick with you.

A better response would be to say, “Oh she/he will say hello to you when he/she is ready”. Then child knows it is OK to take his/her time. They will know that the way they are feeling is fine.

This kind of response demonstrates a critical aspect of learning to accept our children. Our kids should know that wherever they are in their personal development is just fine. We all progress at different rates according to our own unique personalities. I challenge you to take a few minutes and make a list of the moments when you are labeling your children, a friend or a spouse. What is the impact? What is the cost to the person? What is the cost to your relationship with that person?

We are all so much more than just a bunch of labels. We are complex and multifaceted, like a diamond – with love, respect and acceptance each and every one of us has the potential to shine brilliantly.

– Gonan Premfors

What do we mean by DeepMiddle? Deep refers to the place within and between people where they come into awareness of the essence energy within, between and around them and everything that is. And Middle is where we all live fully alive and are fundamentally connected to each other and to what holds us. DeepMiddle is a place beyond words that everyone knows when they experience it. Spaciousness, timefulness, resourcefulness, freedom and love characterize DeepMiddle. While not something to be grasped, it is experienced individually and in groups. It is a place people yearn to go and from which they learn and grow. DeepMiddle is a container and an understanding which includes the common essence energy experience of people today.

When leaders invite groups to enter DeepMiddle together, time expands, space opens and awareness heightens. Leaders and groups find their way in the present and are responsive to the nuances and hints that make all the difference in what actions are taken. The reality is that leaders do and do not know what is needed in groups. Leaders work best when they come from a place of humility in recognition that what takes place is not all about them. Leaders serve. Leaders actively wait. Leaders listen. Leaders trust the group. Leaders ask. Leaders give. Leaders offer and let go. Leaders invite others to co-imagine, co-discover, co-create, and co-fulfill. Leaders are aware that it is and it is not all about them. There is more. Leaders know that and invite groups into DeepMiddle in order to allow it to immerge and emerge as it will.

Creating spaces that are safe for people to go deeper is the most critical leadership function that leaders face. DeepMiddle space is entered in community through dialogue when the environment is opened for it to come into play. DeepMiddle space is created by assertions offered, questions asked and by the time that is opened for observation, silence, and dissent. To go deeper involves connecting at the soul level of individual energy essence; often through a right brain experience. In the realm of the soul, which is often described as shy and elusive, we learn what essence energy wants to share and divulges when asked and in unexpected ways.

DeepMiddle space is like and unlike other spaces created by leaders in that it assumes that there is a group essence energy or soul that is waiting to be uncovered and explored. The corporate essence is more than the sum of their individual essences. Uncovering and exploring together what comes up can lead groups to further understanding and expanding possibilities. Leadership that comes from the DeepMiddle adds incomparable new dimensions to how leaders think and what they do.

I am thrilled to be a Pathway Presenter at the first Co-Active Summit. In my presentation, we will be looking at the role of stories in the process of transformation. This work applies to individuals, groups and entire societies.

I first became interested in the power of stories in coaching when I found myself coaching a number of clients in their 80s and 90s. At the beginning of these coaching relationships I would explain that coaching is about the present and future, so we would not be spending much time looking at the past. Well, they quickly put me in my place!

“Listen,” one woman told me, “most of my life is behind me. If I can’t talk about it, what’s the point of this?” I knew she was right. But I also knew through my training that sitting entranced or bored while my clients rambled on about their stories wasn’t going to serve them. So I started experimenting with ways to actively engage with my clients’ stories.

I found that the Co-Active Model was a perfect tool for this exploration. Stories about pivotal life events, triumphs, and wrenchingly hard decisions – all of these revealed values that still resonated deeply with my clients. I also discovered that the client’s perspective on important past events had usually shifted over time, and the client was not even aware of this shift. They found it gratifying when I asked them to compare their current viewpoint to the way they saw the event at the time. It was also useful to look at the current experience of these important life stories. Often, clients would be inclined to replay emotional states that were not current, because they believed they “should” feel a certain way. It was a liberating experience to get up-to-date emotionally.

The most important foundation of this work has been the discipline and the agreements that allow me to interrupt and interact with the stories my clients tell. I believe that people long to tell new stories, but they too easily get stuck in the old ones. Stories can be pathways to transformation. But we must take leadership in guiding these stories into new realms of awareness and intention.

We are excited to offer the CTI community the opportunity to experience a mind/body coaching experience like no other. Coaching That Moves U takes coaching to the next level, creating a way for our clients to shift both mentally and physically allowing for greater access to their creativity while feeling the benefits of cardio activity. We shift the definition of “fitness” from a competitive, rule based, ego-driven mindset to a softer, playful, creative state of self-awareness which incorporates”mindful movement”. Through the combination of movement and coaching, we help our clients create the behavioral change they have been working on owning in their lives while they benefit from a cardio workout. Coaching That Moves U also offers exciting, fun ways to introduce coaching to larger groups within various demographics opening up a new world to our community at CTI.

Our current definition of fitness reads more like “fitting-in”-ness as we struggle for perfect bodies through rigorous, monitored exercise regimes and diet plans that inevitably set us up for failure. In our workshop we shift this rigid view of exercise to one of ease and flow coming from a much more primal place- our core spirit. We introduce a more playful, spontaneous, natural way to view movement- more inclusive and fun loving. Exercise feeds our creativity and nurtures our soul as it aligns us with the cycle of life and nature. Coaching That Moves U playfully dives in as participants will partake in an Image Cycling experience which will allow them to feel the magic of this incredible process first hand. 

Businesswise, leaders will open up to new ideas on how to introduce the concept of coaching.  By combining movement with coaching we create platforms which offer unique mind/body experiences to businesses, schools, fitness centers and more. Participants’ minds will be racing with ideas on how to incorporate exercise and stretching into their coaching for the sake of creating healthier lives for their clients who live in a world where obesity levels are skyrocketing. Think of the possibilities we could create once we leap out into this untapped, ramped up, mind/body awareness place of coaching others…

 Awakening the Dreamer, Changing the Dream Symposium was developed by The Pachamama Alliance under the leadership of Lynne Twist who will be giving a Keynote Speech on the last day of the Co-Active Summit. The Symposium combines amazing video presentations with interactive, experiential exercises to take you on a powerful journey. During that journey, you make a paradigm-shift — from the old disempowering paradigm that says, “we are separate” and which is at the root of all the problems we see in today’s world, to a new paradigm that says, “we are all inter-connected” –  a worldview supported by the indigenous cultures around the world as well as the findings of modern science.

The Awakening the Dreamer journey actually parallels and encompasses the journey of the Summit — Compass, Ascent, and Leap, addressing all three spaces in two segments, morning and afternoon.  It will be a great segue way to Lynne’s presentation on the following morning. We believe that the time is ripe for Co-Active Coaches and Co-Active Leaders to take on a bigger role in calling forth humanity to create a just, sustainable and fulfilling world and this Symposium will give you the tools in fulfilling that role. So come on and join us!

Logistics Assistance:
We have created a discussion thread on the Co-active Network as a place for coordinating rides and room shares for the Co-active Summit. Look for Coactive Summit Logistics Thread.

Reduced fee transportation from Southwest Florida International Airport (RSW), Ft. Myers to Marco Island Resort is available through Naples Transportation and can be booked online. Naples Transportation has set up special webpage for booking transportation Airport-to-Resort and return for attendees of the Co-active Summit. Car and van services are most economical when booked to service small groups. So, coordinate with friends or make new ones!

Becoming a parent is one of the most significant, rewarding, and challenging rolls a person can take on in life. As adults we pour so much of ourselves into raising our children, it can be hard not to view them as extensions of ourselves—our values, thoughts, outlook…

But, what happens when the vision we hold for our children doesn’t match the reality of who they are or who they wish to become?

Recently, while leading a Parentology Course, I met a woman who had been struggling with accepting the choices of two of her adult daughters. After graduating from university, both chose to work as waitresses instead of going into professions in line with their degrees. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a waitress, but after having financed her daughters’ university educations, the mother expected and hoped they would chose something else.

As she went through the experience of the course, it became clear to her that if the she did not make a choice to let go of her agenda for her daughters’, their relationships would be at stake. So, as you might imagine, put in that light, the choice became easy—to accept and move on.

What I have learned over the years both as a parent and as a coach is that when we love our children, accept them for who they are, and respect their choices, the relationships we hold with them are naturally strong. However, if children feel judged or not accepted, they may continue what they are doing out of spite, even if the original choice they made no longer suits them.

The mother with whom I was speaking realized that it would be impossible to build a healthy family relationship while at the same time having an agenda of “fixing” her daughters choice in professions. Rather what she needed was to accept and love them unconditionally in order to rebuild their trust.